Being Queer* (Faculty) on Campus
Long Beach 2009 LGBTQ Pride
*I use the term "queer" to resist putting a label on what has been for me a lifetime of fluid, non-binary sexual identity(s) and relationship orientation(s). See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer
The Thursday after Prop 8 was passed, one of my students, call her Sami, asked to meet with me in my office hours or after class. I knew right away what was up. Sami had been actively campaigning on (and off) campus against Prop 8, and she is also in my Intro to Sociology class. She sits up front with her friend Tina, who was also campaigning against prop 8 (on election day Tina wore a statue of liberty costume to class!). Needless to say, in a class of 190 students, these two made an impression on me right away, given their activism, intelligence and general interest in sociology. Sami was r e a l l y upset about Prop 8 passing, and so we met after my last class and talked for an hour about politics, and similarities in our background (she’s from North Carolina; she just came out and is in her first relationship with a girl). For me, talking about myself and ‘coming out’ to Sami about being queer presented a dilemma. Not that I don’t have the words or ability to talk about it; the issue is that I don’t tend to disclose personal details about myself to undergraduate students as I prefer to be more of a cipher. I like to make them wonder about me re: my sexual orientation, ethnicity, age, etc. … but Sami is different because she is the first openly out and political lesbian student I have ever had in my classroom. She and Teri are theater majors so that explains part of their outgoing nature… but she also believes fervently in her cause, to the point where Sami made a mini-presentation in front of the entire class (190 students!) about how Prop 8 would “take away her wedding day”.
The Thursday after Prop 8 was passed, one of my students, call her Sami, asked to meet with me in my office hours or after class. I knew right away what was up. Sami had been actively campaigning on (and off) campus against Prop 8, and she is also in my Intro to Sociology class. She sits up front with her friend Tina, who was also campaigning against prop 8 (on election day Tina wore a statue of liberty costume to class!). Needless to say, in a class of 190 students, these two made an impression on me right away, given their activism, intelligence and general interest in sociology. Sami was r e a l l y upset about Prop 8 passing, and so we met after my last class and talked for an hour about politics, and similarities in our background (she’s from North Carolina; she just came out and is in her first relationship with a girl). For me, talking about myself and ‘coming out’ to Sami about being queer presented a dilemma. Not that I don’t have the words or ability to talk about it; the issue is that I don’t tend to disclose personal details about myself to undergraduate students as I prefer to be more of a cipher. I like to make them wonder about me re: my sexual orientation, ethnicity, age, etc. … but Sami is different because she is the first openly out and political lesbian student I have ever had in my classroom. She and Teri are theater majors so that explains part of their outgoing nature… but she also believes fervently in her cause, to the point where Sami made a mini-presentation in front of the entire class (190 students!) about how Prop 8 would “take away her wedding day”.
For me, it was so incredible to see this kind of activism happen in my class because I recall being an undergrad about 15 years ago and the climate on campus was not nearly as les-bi-gay friendly. As an undergraduate, like Sami and Teri, I made it my cause to fight homophobia on campus and was part of many speaker’s panels about being les-bi-gay on campus. But I had very few professors who were willing to do that or be “out” in the classroom (even though EVERYONE knew that they were lesbian, they were not willing to admit it in the classroom).
Today, as a professor, I understand MUCH better why these profs chose not to wear their sexual orientation on their sleeve… I did my time as an activist in the LGBTQ community in my early 20’s (this was in the 1990’s), and today, I am at the point where I don’t believe that it’s always necessary to be an ‘activist’ and ‘come out’ and maintain a visible queer identity on campus or in society (and in fact I DON’T have a visible queer identity on campus). I maintain this position DESPITE the normative pressure for all queer faculty to be “out” (i.e.to post a “safe zone” sticker so queer students can identify you on your office door, to go to certain LGBTQ events on campus, etc.) in a dept with three “out” profs (and two “out” lecturers).
Me w/other CSULB faculty at 2009 Long Beach LGBTQ Pride
For me, it really is less a matter of making it a point to “make the personal political 24/7” and to always ‘present’ as a queer person and educate society, than it is about being inclusive in the way that I teach and relate to other people. That is to say, when I lecture in class (or converse in general) about topics such as family socialization, gender, the life course, etc. , I am always inclusive of same-sex relationships. In other words, when I talk in class about ‘getting married’ and having families (I teach a lot about socialization, the family, gender and the life course), I am ALWAYS inclusive of same sex relationships. I mean shit, I was in one for 13 years and it always pissed me off when my profs were heterosexist when they taught about families, life course, etc. and always used a male-female paradigm. Instead, I state that “all humans tend to pair-bond with other humans; some of us do it with people of the opposite sex, and others of the same sex, either way, the research shows that we ALL fight over sex, paying the bills/money, and who has to take out the trash!!”
Because of my “inclusiveness” in the classroom, Sami and Teri were immediately curious about my sexual orientation. I know this because they happen to have a colleague of mine as a dorm residence advisor… and through that grapevine, I heard that the girls are curious… my colleague (who is one of the three out queer faculty members in my Dept) told them they should just ask me directly, she was keeping mum. So in our post-election de-briefing, Sami and I have the “conversation”, where I ask her about her coming out process and I disclose my own “queerness”. By this time in my life and career it’s not a big deal to have that conversation, especially one on one, but as I said, I am taking a leap w/Sami because she is really the first undergrad who I have gotten close to and feel like a true mentor toward (god help me, mentoring students can be such a time sink and sooooo stressful! But ALWAYS in the end, incredibly rewarding). It’s funny, she is nervous though, just talking to me, a professor that she admires and considers a mentor. I am touched by the way I am able, just by being honest about myself, to be a role model for her, and mentor her on the path to adulthood and becoming an intelligent and active member of society – and she is already WELL along that path, such an activist already, she gives me a lot to be proud of in a mentee!!
In some ways I am gradually relaxing about my self-identity and presentation in the context of my professional life. After almost six years in this job (gee, I guess they must like me if they haven’t fired me) I am finally feeling able to talk (or joke) a bit about my sexual orientation and my life(style) with certain colleagues and students that I consider friends.
Myself w/CSULB colleagues and students at 2009 LBC Pride Parade
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